One of our very favourite and very lovely authors, Amanda Prowse, is coming to Australia! We loved her post ‘Australiababble’ so much that we had to share it with you all. Keep an eye out for the rest of Amanda’s Australia series here and on her blog.
“So, standing here in the lounge in my pyjamas with the ironing board and a mountain of clean but crumpled laundry filling the room. The kids are on the computer thingy, demanding bacon and my husband is ankle deep in paperwork, just a normal Sunday really, only it isn’t. For tomorrow we are off to AUSTRALIA!!!
I am beyond excited and more than a little apprehensive. All those hours on a plane? Really? I am planning a strategy that involves movie watching and lots of wine.
I am ashamed to admit to an appalling level of ignorance when it comes to Oz. Every image I have in my head is conjured from the stereotypical and clichéd. Barbeques – Beaches – Dame Edna (who I think would make a superb monarch when the queen abdicates) – Cricket (not that we will be mentioning THAT!) – Rugby (or THAT either!) – Koalas – Shane Warne’s forehead – Ayers Rock and of course the pocket sized beauty that is Kylie.
Don’t judge me. I grew up in inner city London in a large, chaotic family and our idea of a holiday was a sticky fingered fish and chip suppers in our coats and scarves while sitting on the wall at Southend-On-Sea, followed by a night, still in our coats and scarves, in me nan’s dripping caravan. Yes, it’s was as glamorous as it sounds. Now since I’ve been a grown up, a fact that I don’t like to admit, I have of course done a bit, The West Indies, Europe, The US of A and of course my beloved Bermuda. But the other side of the world?? Not until now.
Geography is not my strong point; in fact other than writing books, I have very few talents of note. A friend of ours was moving to Oz, Cairns to be specific and I sent his details to an acquaintance in Sydney, suggesting it might be nice to hook up for a coffee to make him feel welcome… My friend in Sydney replied by sending me a map with two big fat red X’s on it, showing that coffee was highly unlikely as they weren’t even in the same time zone! Who knew?
I know there is a beach in Sydney, which simultaneously fills me with dread and excitement. In most lights, I am more Rebel Wilson than Elle Macpherson. This isn’t really a problem living in Blighty – although in fairness, we have had a wonderful summer it was August 14th between 11.30am and 3.45pm. Oh we went crazy! I made ice in the fridge and drank my milk on the patio; I even rolled up the sleeves on my cardi.
So, Australia bound and very excited, what to pack? Do they have Starbucks? Asda? I shall let you know.”