The Perils of Prank Proposals

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Sunday was April Fool’s Day – sadly this year I forgot all about it and failed to play a joke on anyone. But on reflection that might be a good thing, as one person’s ‘hilarious gag’ can easily be someone else’s ‘You think that’s funny, do you? I’ll show you funny …’

I was thinking about a couple I know and the near-catastrophe of April Fool’s Day 2010. She was very keen to get married, and although it was understood that this was on the cards, He still hadn’t got round to actually proposing. Then, on April 1st, her colleagues spotted that her Facebook status had changed to ‘engaged’. Surprised that She hadn’t announced it immediately in a fit of bridal glee, they enquired tentatively as to what was going on.

It turns out that He had hacked her account. He thought it was the funniest jape ever.

Julie Bishop would have envied the frosty glare She wore.

The status was swiftly corrected and I can only imagine the verbal bashing He endured at home that night. But He proposed for real a few months later and they are now happily married. I was there and it was a fantastic wedding, so all’s well that ends well.

Now you might think that this is Typical Man stuff, but I have to confess to my own misplaced sense of humour. As this year was a Leap Year, I thought it might be most amusing to faux-propose to The Boyfriend, thinking that he would be totally freaked out, and then oh how we would laugh!

Friends wisely suggested that this could backfire horribly and I reconsidered. I’m so glad I did – I later discovered that The Boyfriend had never heard of the tradition of women proposing to men on 29 February, and would have assumed I was serious. Cue awkwardness. He also asked what I would have done should he have gathered me into his arms, crying ‘Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!’ Run for the hills, probably, and I shudder to think of the backpedalling conversations we would have had to stumble through afterwards.

So a fake proposal is not a great recipe for comedy, I have learned. Has anyone else ever had a prank go badly wrong?

From the vault: Playing by Heart DVD review

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As summer this year decided not to make an appearance I’ve been delving deep into my pile of DVDs in order to pass away the rainy days.

I recently came upon one of my favourite romantic movies the wonderful, yet mostly forgotten, Playing by Heart.

Playing by Heart is a film about love in all its forms. Love between a parent and child, new love, illicit love, and love that is fading away.

Set in L.A. it follows 11 people as they navigate affairs of the heart.  Sean Connery and Gena Rowlands play a married couple approaching their 40th wedding anniversary who are grappling to come to terms with a secret from the past.

Gillian Anderson plays Meredith, a romantically shy director who for some ungodly reason is trying to rebuff the charms of Jon Stewart. (Yes that Jon Stewart, host of The Daily Show and the thinking woman’s tv boyfriend.)

Angelina Jolie is also failing to woo Ryan Phillipe despite her very best efforts, Madeleine Stowe is having an affair with Anthony Edwards although her heart really belongs to another and Ellen Burstyn is spending time with her son as he lies dying in a hospital bed. And then there is Hugh, Denis Quaid, who tells tall tragic tales to women in bars.

By the end of the movie their lives will intersect. You may guess how they all fit in by the end of the film but that’s not really the point of the movie. The fun is in the journey with some great performances, witty observations on the ins and outs of relationships and some gorgeous scenery with L.A. managing to look lovely for once. Jon Stewart looks pretty good as well.

Recommended for a rainy Sunday afternoon with a glass of rose.

Weekend Read

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This week we have been rummaging through our delectable library of favourites and found Anne Mallory’s salacious new saga, In Total Surrender, which came out late last year. Go on and have a sneaky Sunday arvo read! Here’s a quick teaser:

Lucy Pace, young, enchanting and seemingly carefree, WLTM rich, ruthless bachelor looking to have his heart softened. Andreas Merrick is the most feared man in the streets, so what’s he doing giving in to Lucy’s soft cuddles and kisses? Meet the ultimate star-crossed lovers: bound by passion but destined for heart break from the very beginning.

If that doesn’t whet your appetite, you must be on a stringent diet. Happy reading x

May day May day!

This May we are so excited to be releasing a delicious stack of Stephanie Laurens mass market paperbacks – the perfect addition to any ravishing romance library. Snuggle up with the Cynster Sisters trilogy and let your imagination run wild with Earls, Dukes and Viscounts to boot. Plus we have a seriously seductive range of new releases from Avon this month. Whether you’re into lascivious lords or foxy firemen, we have a naughty novel to suit every mood.

Anna Campbell’s brand new series!

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One of the best parts of my job is getting to read our wonderful authors’ manuscripts way ahead of publication. Last week I settled down with a pot of tea and a large chocolate bar and devoured Anna Campbell’s upcoming novel, Seven Nights in a Rogue’s Bed, coming out at the end of September. This is the first book in the Sons of Sin trilogy and as this is the first time Anna has tackled a series, my anticipation was high. I’m delighted to report that not only does Seven Nights … measure up to all her previous novels it is, in my opinion, her best book yet! Based on Beauty and the Beast, it opens with terrific gothic drama as our brave and beautiful heroine, Sidonie Forsythe, arrives at an imposing and remote castle, in the dark and the rain, ready to sacrifice herself in order to save her cherished sister from ruin. Inside awaits the Beast, Jonas Merrick – a man carrying horrific scars, both inside and out. And over the course of – you guessed it – seven nights, they each learn that there is far more to the other than meets the eye …

Sidonie and Jonas have really stayed with me. Anna is a genius at creating three-dimensional characters who we take to our hearts and these two are no exception. I really hope they get a cameo in the rest of the series (hint, hint, Anna!). And the twists and turns of the plot will keep you guessing right up to the very end. I’m just sorry everyone else has to wait to read it! In the meantime, take a peek at the blurb below, and click here for a chat Anna had with Romantic Times where she talks a little about the inspiration for the story.

WILL A WEEK OF SEDUCTION . . .

Desperate to save her sister’s life, Sidonie Forsythe has agreed to submit herself to a terrible fate: Beyond the foreboding walls of Castle Craven, a notorious, hideously scarred scoundrel will take her virtue over the course of seven sinful nights. Yet instead of a monster, she encounters a man like no other. And during this week, she comes to care for Jonas Merrick in ways that defy all logic – even as a dark secret she carries threatens them both.

. . . SPARK A LIFETIME OF PASSIONATE SURRENDER?

Ruthless loner Jonas knows exactly who he is. Should he forget, even for a moment, the curse he bears, a mere glance in the mirror serves as an agonizing reminder. So when the lovely Sidonie turns up on his doorstep, her seduction is an even more delicious prospect than he originally planned. But the hardened outcast is soon moved by her innocent beauty, sharp wit, and surprising courage. Now as dangerous enemies gather at the gate to destroy them, can their new, fragile love survive?

Romancing the Stone: Secret Feminist Agenda?

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The other night, in a fit of nostalgia, I watched Romancing the Stone. Imagine my excitement when I realised that Kathleen Turner’s character was not just a romance novelist, but was published by Avon!
Not having seen the movie since childhood – when my critical faculties were not as finely honed as they are now and I thought Xanadu was a masterclass in storytelling – I was fuzzy on the plot details. To sum up, Kathleen Turner is Joan Wilder, a successful but lonely romance author who fantasises about her fictional hero, Jesse. When her sister is kidnapped in Colombia and it turns out that the treasure map the kidnappers are after was mailed to Joan, she must swap the streets of New York for the Colombian jungle. Of course, she gets horribly lost and meets adventurer Jack Colton, a very young-looking Michael Douglas, who turns out to be far more irritating and selfish than any romantic hero ought to be. They team up and after assorted shenanigans, including a quick break for dinner, dancing and sexy times, they rescue Joan’s sister.

Apart from the awesomeness of the combination of Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas and Danny de Vito, what I found so interesting about this movie is how feminist it is. It came out in 1984, when arguably the battle for equal rights was not yet won (is it now?!), and yet the movie spends a solid half an hour setting up Kathleen Turner’s character before we even meet Michael Douglas. Even then, the focus is all on her journey; he is not much more than a cardboard cutout. And in the final battle at the end of the movie, [SPOILER ALERT!] she’s the one who defeats the bad guy. He’s too busy chasing after the giant emerald which has been swallowed by an alligator.

All this put me in mind of the excellent blog post by Nicole Murphy which we shared the other day, talking about how romance as a genre is actually a bastion of feminism. Who knew my trip down movie Memory Lane would be so empowering? Now, maybe there was something to Xanadu after all …

For a fun zip through Romancing the Stone in the form of screen grabs, click here.

Peer closely and you can see the Avon logo!

Where’s the craziest place you’ve done it?

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A couple of weeks ago my friend was sitting quietly on a plane reading a novel. As the flight attendant glided past she paused to observe the phenomenon. “Well, you don’t see that very often anymore,” she remarked before resuming her patrol.

If people don’t read on planes any more it’s a very sad thing. Planes are a magical cloud cocoon liberated from bothersome distractions. If you’re heading overseas you have the luxury of reading for hours on end without having to check text messages or worry that you’re late for something. Sometimes it’s not just what you read, it’s where you read. I read Ian McEwan’s On Chesil Beach on the pebbly English seaside. I read the longest biography of Henry James ever written on a winding train through the Swiss Alps. And I read Stephanie Laurens’ The Brazen Bride while sitting cross legged on a bridge in Pyrmont.

After many years on the hunt, here are my Top 10 Reading Spots (in no particular order) – guaranteed to enhance a great book or distract you from a bad one!
1.      On top of a cliff, overlooking the ocean
2.      Under a Magnolia tree
3.      In a tent, with a torch
4.      On a 13 hour flight
5.      At a quiet cafe on a weekday, while everyone else is at work
6.      Sitting in an armchair that has been moved into a sunny backyard
7.      At a dull sporting (or religious) event
8.      Waiting in a slow-moving bank queue
9.      In the kitchen, while cookies are baking
10.  In bed, after a long day  

Duke, Duker, Dukest…She Tempts the Duke, by Lorraine Heath

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Good morning Romance fans – today we have a delicious treat that will cure Monday-itis quicker than a double shot cappucino… What’s better than one dark, dashing and dangerous man with a royal birthright? How about three? And they’re brothers. After being robbed of their titles by a slimy usurping uncle, the Lost Lords of Pembrook flee throughout the Kingdom. One is raised on the streets, one is hardened by a life at sea and one is toughened by regimental service. In this first installment of Lorraine Heath’s new series we meet Sebastian the soldier – rugged and ready to reclaim his title. But his quest for dukedom is interrupted by a quest of another kind. He feels drawn to the beautiful young girl who helped him escape all those years ago. She has come upon hard times and is now being rescued…by the wrong man! This isn’t just your average boy meets girl, girl helps boy escape from mortal danger, and all live happily ever after. Get ready for some real soul searching (and the sexiest soldier to hit Regency romance in years). Have a sneaky peak of the first chapter HERE.

What has romance ever done for us?

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Last week, author Nicole Murphy posted a fascinating piece on www.davidmcdonaldspage.com website discussing and defending the importance of romance as a genre. We thought it was so good that we asked if we could share it here, and David and Nicole kindly agreed.

Nicole has been a teacher and journalist, but is now concentrating on her writing. She has had many short stories published, and has edited speculative fiction magazines. She lives in Queanbeyan with her husband Tim. Visit her website to find out more information about her published works.

An argument about the importance of romance.

I would like to put forward an argument that the much maligned and misunderstood genre of romance is, in fact, a serious contender for the title of most important genre.

Here’s my thinking.

First, it’s about feminism. When you look at the other genres – fantasy, science fiction, horror, crime, western, action-adventure, detective, mystery – it can be extremely difficult for women to find stories about them, written by them. Difficult to find stories that speak to the truth of being a woman in this world and the specific struggles and issues that we deal with that men do not.

And if you do find them, then the range is often minimal. For example, how many female detectives have you read that have relationship issues? Most of them. How many action-adventure heroines are either there because they have the money or they are the one with the clue and not the main focus of the action?

The only genre where women can not only find a multitude of stories about them but can also pick and choose the types of roles or situations they wish to read about is in romance. Do you want to read stories that fit in with your religious beliefs? There’s entire companies that publish what’s called inspirational romance. Are you involved in the medical profession and want to read about people like you finding true love? Mills and Boon publish several books a month just for you.

Even if you don’t buy the premise that the overwhelming majority of book purchasers are women (the last figure I heard was eighty percent, although I’ve been unable to verify that), we all know that women equate for just less than half the world’s population* and yet, there’s just one genre in which we are guaranteed to read a multiplicity of stories that speak to our lives.

As it’s the only genre to offer this for half the world, surely that makes it important?

The second reason I think romance is a contender for best genre is that it’s the only genre that guarantees a happy ending.

Some of the other genres have lots of happy endings – crime, for example, because the crime is generally solved at the end of the book – but they’re not always happy endings (the criminal doesn’t always feel the full force of the law, for example).

But in romance, the story MUST end with happily ever after (or happily for now at least) and if it doesn’t, then it’s not part of the romance genre.

In times of darkness or uncertainty, such as we’re going through at the moment, picking up a book and knowing that it will end nicely is a nice guarantee to have. It’s no wonder that despite retail in general slumping over the past couple of years, the sales of romance novels has barely been affected.

I know that there are folks out there that are going to say that speaks to the inherent weakness of romance – that you know how it is going to end – but in that I think they are wrong. We all know that pressure is required to turn a lump of coal into a diamond. Well, think of the fact that a romance has to end happily as the pressure, and when you open the pages you’ll find that diamond.

Reason number three – romance deals with most of the important issues that face society. It has been, for example, a place where feminism has tried out new ideas, explored what being a woman really means and given readers a variety of choices of things they can do with their lives.

Women’s sexuality in particular is an interest of mine in terms of how romance is allowing women to dip in and try ideas or feelings that in real life words like ‘slut’ are telling them they shouldn’t be even thinking about.

In the blog published yesterday on why Australian romance should be treated more seriously, Laura Vivanco gives some examples of romances that have touched on Australian issues. She mentions the stories that appeared in the 40s about women dealing with their men coming home from war (and in fact in America at the moment there’s a big call for romance dealing with a returned war veteran).

And I’ve seen online calls from women for particular types of stories to help them through a situation – the latest was for a woman who had just lost a child through stillbirth and wanted to read some uplifting stories. She was given dozens of suggestions.

Are there crap romance novels? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Sit me down one day and I’ll tell you all about it. Particularly the books that were published in the 70s and 80s…

But there is also crap science fiction, crap horror, crap westerns, crap murder mysteries… Just because a genre produces crap doesn’t mean the entire genre is crap.

I rather suspect that it’s going to be years, if ever, before romance has the respect it deserves. In the meantime, all I can do is appeal to all you forward thinking people out there to give romance a chance and see for yourself the beauty that comes from reading about people falling in love.

* Current estimated world population 6 895 889 000, current estimated world female population 3 418 059 000, from http://esa.un.org/unpd/wpp/Excel-Data/population.htm

What do you all think of this argument? Is romance fiction a bastion of feminism?

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